So, yearly entry. I keep telling myself I'm going to write here more often, but then in winter I'm so busy (and often frustrated about things that I can't exactly write down in a public venue) and then in summer it's. so. fucking. hot. So I end up reading, watching movies and tv shows on my laptop, and downloading games on my itouch (so addictive).
And I'm not even writing in my writing journal which is pissing me off even more.
What has prompted my entry? Well, on reading a really good book about writing ( Starve Better, by Nick Mamatas) I suddenly realised why my Master's Thesis got such a negative reception back in 2003 when I had my viva. He writes about students who want to write genre fiction getting a hard time in MFA creative writing courses (or, they got a hard time - apparently things are getting better) - well how about writing a Master's thesis solely concerned with genre fiction, albeit a feminist take on it? Yes, I could ask "What was I thinking?", except I really needed to work on something I was interested in, otherwise I'd end up dropping out, just as I did in my first attempt at a Master's.
I'm not saying that I didn't get my MA, 'cause I did, just that it involved a 45 minute grilling which I kept fairly calm throughout, only collapsing into tears once I was sitting in the quadrangle, waiting for my lift home. Also, the one person who should conceivably shown some interest in what I'd written, only gave one contribution: Why didn't I write about film? Well, where was he when I was drowning in research with a largely indifferent tutor? How can you answer a question like that? Because. I. didn't? Was I supposed to go back in time and hurriedly write a couple of chapters about the Terminators, Alien et al, etc, something which I'm sure had already been done, by actual Film students, which I wasn't?
Wow, almost ten years later, and I'm still really full of resentment. On the one hand, I blame this experience (and the general "sink or swim" attitude prevalent in our alma mater; unless, that is, a lecturer happens to be a family friend) for never trying for a Phd. On the other hand, I know what I'm like - there is no way I can balance writing a thesis with a full-time job and Maltese summers are difficult to write in. I tend to procrastinate, and find it very difficult to get started. Also, as the only topic I'm really interested right now is fanfiction and its queering of a straight narrative . . . yeah, I'm sure that would really go down well.
Whatever; in the past, I suppose. Which is another country, haha.